A simple saying, yet it means so much..."Let Go, Let God". My step-mother gave me this sound advice this morning after I was telling her and my father about my almost constant migraines lately. I blame stress. Usually, I fight off stress...I do not let it even come near me. When I feel slightly stressed, or anxious, I mentally kick it in the butt. It is not welcome in my body. I am happy, and I have a lot to be happy about...stress is not allowed in this body. However, I do believe it snuck its way in. I have been stressed about things beyond my reach.
I cannot control the United States Marine Corps. I cannot hand pick where my husbands next assignment is. The Marine Corps is bigger than me, I respect it, and I respect my husbands career. I cannot control when my milk ducts dry up, allowing the "go ahead" for my surgery. I cannot control how my babies will be taken care of while I heal...don't get me wrong, they will be in great hands...but no one is ME. If you are a Mom, you'll understand what I am saying. No one can take care of your children like you can. Of course, my husband can come as close to me as anyone else, but, he'll be with me throughout most of this process. No one else is me. No one else can do bubble kisses like me, no one else can do our schedule like me, no one else can cuddle them like me, no one can tuck them in like me, no one can bathe them like me. I just have to let go though...and know that what I am doing will allow a much longer life with them. So, I am out of commission for a little while...at least breast cancer won't be lingering over my future.
So, from here on out, I will be working on "letting go" and "letting God". Whatever it is that happens, it's what was meant to be. So, I'll let it be.